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Lady_Cher
 Lady_Cher
(@lady_cher)
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Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 32
Topic starter March 19, 2022 8:05 pm  

1. Why did the cats ask for a drum set? They wanted to make some mewsic!

2. What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order.

3. How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant? Her test was pawsitive.

4. What normally happens when kitties go on a first date? They hiss.

5. What’s a cat’s favorite cereal? Mice crispies.

6. What color do kittens love the most? Purrple.

7. What does the cat say after making a joke? “Just kitten!”

8. When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call? A tabby.

9. Why did the cat have to go to an accountant? They got caught up in a purramid scheme.

10. What made the cat upgrade his phone? He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.

 

 

1647720327-black-cat-78.gif

   
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baldeagle1965200
 baldeagle1965200
(@baldeagle1965200)
Honorable Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 187
March 27, 2022 11:44 pm  
A very large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar.
She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed, dissipated drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.
She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

   
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baldeagle1965200
 baldeagle1965200
(@baldeagle1965200)
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Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 187
March 31, 2022 6:35 am  
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
I have some good news and some bad news”, the surgeon tells him.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm”!
Oh God no”!, the man cries, “My golfing is over! Please Doc., what’s the good news”?
Well, the good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant”.
“Go for it doc.”, he pleads, “as long as I can play golf again”.
The operation went well and a year later, the man was out on the golf course, when he bumped into the surgeon.
“Hi, how’s the new arm”? The surgeon asks. “Just great”, the golfer replies, “I’m playing the best golf of my life.
My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved”.
“That’s great”, said the surgeon.
“Not only that”, the golfer went on, “my handwriting has improved.I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes, and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in water colours”.
“That’s unbelievable!”, the surgeon said. “I’m glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.
Are you having any side effects”?
“Well, just two really”!!! The golfer told him. “I have trouble reversing, parallel parking, and every time I have an erection I get a headache!!”

   
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Lady_Cher
 Lady_Cher
(@lady_cher)
Trusted Member Admin
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 32
Topic starter April 9, 2022 7:10 pm  

TOO FUNNY MIKE.. KEEP THEM COMING EVERYONE LOVES A GOOD JOKE! 😍 


   
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baldeagle1965200
 baldeagle1965200
(@baldeagle1965200)
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Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 187
April 10, 2022 6:54 pm  

May be a cartoon of text


   
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baldeagle1965200
 baldeagle1965200
(@baldeagle1965200)
Honorable Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 187
April 10, 2022 7:10 pm  

May be an image of 3 people and text that says 'A slightly drunk woman is watching tv and yells "Don't go there! Don't go to the church you dumb bitch!" Her husband asks "What are you watching?" "Our wedding video"'


   
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baldeagle1965200
 baldeagle1965200
(@baldeagle1965200)
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Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 187
April 10, 2022 7:16 pm  

May be an image of text


   
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