Alley Cat Forum

Notifications

Clear all

Funnies

Do you have a funny story or joke.. everyone likes to smile.. put your funny or jokes here…

RSS

Page 6 / 20 Prev Next

Topic Title

Views

Posts

The Drunk.

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

335

A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 a.m. By then, he is extremely drunk. When he gets back to his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets and they broke, carving up his rear end terribly. But he was so drunk he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he saw some blood. He checked himself out in the mirror and, sure enough, his rear end is cut up something terrible. He repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances and went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting and his rear was hurting, and he was lying under the covers trying to think up a good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. "Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?" "I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers." "A couple of beers? That's a laugh!" she replied. "You were plastered last night, and you know it! Where'd you go?" "What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?" "Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

the golfer

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

390

A golfer lining up for a difficult putt mutters to himself, "Boy, I hope I can make this in one try." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the putt and says, "OK." He sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle. Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly." And makes the eagle. As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you, because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil and from now on you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

the old person Lords Prayer.......

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

249

this is soooooooo true!1........

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

the difference......

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

263

WHATS THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN SNOWMEN AND SNOW WOMEN? SNOWBALLS! lol.

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

funny....yes?

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

335

i'm thinking more like a heart attack!

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

order in the court?

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

238

never disobey the judge....right?

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

spelling

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

294

THE "TION" SPELLING :

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

mixture

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

259

our funny today comes from our td DEBS hope you all enjoy!....

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

Magic Trick

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

201

Theft or magic....you decide.....

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

IT'S THE SAME...RIGHT?

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 3 years ago

249

Amarried Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest , "I almost had an affair with another woman." the priest said ,"what do you mean,almost?" The Irishman said, we got naked and rubbed against each other but then i stopped."the priest said ,"rubbing together is the same as putting it in." Your not to see that woman ever again. For your penance you will say 5 hail Marys and put $50.00 in the poor box.The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers and walked over to the poor box.He paused for a momentand then started to leave. The Priest,who was watching, quickly ran over to himsaying ,"i saw that! You didn't put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied,"Yeah, but i rubbed the $50 on the poor box and according to you, thats the same as putting it in."

By baldeagle... 3 years ago

Page 6 / 20 Prev Next

7 Forums
209 Topics
243 Posts
1 Online
42 Members

Forum Icons: Forum contains no unread posts Forum contains unread posts

Topic Icons: Not Replied Replied Active Hot Sticky Unapproved Solved Private Closed

Alley Cat Forum

Funnies

Super Globals

Options and Features