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medical diagnostics

First post and replies | Last post by imafixn2b, 4 years ago

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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.""Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies."There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco."That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.The computer prints the following:1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.Thanks

By imafixn2b 4 years ago

how do you fly?

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 4 years ago

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago

The Heart Attack

First post and replies | Last post by imafixn2b, 4 years ago

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A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grabthe phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old soncomes up And says, "Mummy, Mummy, Aunty Shirley is hiding inthe wardrobe, and she has no clothes on"The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband. Rips open the wardrobe door andsure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and coweringon the floor. 'You rotten B**ch', she screams. 'My husband'shaving a heart attack, and you're running around naked, playing hide and seek with the kids!'

By imafixn2b 4 years ago

First post and replies | Last post by imafixn2b, 4 years ago

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Four Catholic men and one Catholic woman were having coffee when one of the men says my son is a priest when he walks into a room everyone calls him Father. The second man says my son is a Bishop when he walks into a room everyone says your grace. The third man says my son is a Cardinal when he walks into a room every says your Eminence. The fourth man joins the conversation and says my son is the Pope when he enters a room everyone says your Holiness. The Catholic woman sits there for a few seconds and they look at her and say well..... She proudly replies I have a daughter, shes tall and thin with 38D breast a 24 inch waist and 34 inch hips and when she enters a room every man says OH MY GOD!

By imafixn2b 4 years ago

First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 4 years ago

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago

First post and replies | Last post by Lady_Cher, 4 years ago

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago
@baldeagle1965200 🤣

By Lady_Cher 4 years ago
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total truth (1 viewing)

First post and replies | Last post by Lady_Cher, 4 years ago

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago
@baldeagle1965200 lmao mike

By Lady_Cher 4 years ago
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Why I Am Divorced

First post and replies | Last post by Lady_Cher, 4 years ago

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First post and replies | Last post by Lady_Cher, 4 years ago

313

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago
@baldeagle1965200 lmao

By Lady_Cher 4 years ago
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First post and replies | Last post by baldeagle1965200, 4 years ago

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By baldeagle... 4 years ago

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